By Stuart Brown
It can seem like a shattering blow to your self-esteem when you split up with someone, especially if it was your boyfriend who split up with you. However it is important to realise that self-esteem comes from within, and that the only person who can give, or take it away from you is yourself.
This may all sound a little ‘new age’, but the reality is that it is fundamental to whether or not you will be able to get your ex back, or whether you will stay broken up. The reason is very simple. When he first started going out with you it was from a very positive place.
He looked at you and was attracted to you no doubt (else why was he with you?) So he clearly saw something in you then. That essential part of you hasn’t gone anywhere, and indeed you will find that the more you focus on feeling depressed and downtrodden and sorry for yourself, the more distant a memory it will be.
The good news is that you can turn things around very quickly, because all it takes is a heartbeat for you to change your mind and your attitude about yourself. You need to stop focusing on the loss of your boyfriend, and start focusing on how to build a new life without him.
Go out and start having fun again!
The irony is that it is this approach that will get under his skin and re-spike his attraction towards you. Not sitting in your room crying over his loss, or desperate phone calls that just come across as needy.
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